Welcome back, Wooters, to our weekly ritual in which we search for the perfect song to describe a song. I'm moving through the list alphabetically and applying some simple rules: the song must have the state in the title, and it must praise the entire state, not just one city or feature. This week we're sending up the Bay State:
The state: Massachusetts The song: "Massachusetts" by Arlo Guthrie
Be honest: you were expecting some kind of Dropkick Murphys-esque Celtic punk, weren't you? As much as I like 'em, the Commonwealth is more than just Boston, and Boston is more than just Irish guys yelling about Guinness and/or the Patriots. And how can you not appreciate Arlo Guthrie? Okay, he's no Woody, but no one is. And the guy can still write a hell of a song. He might not be a native son, but it's his adopted home and you can tell he loves it.
This is not his house.
This has that typical "You can talk about other places, but they don't have ____" format that a lot of these types of songs take. I've only ever been to Boston, but this makes me want to go back and check out the rest of the state. You know, the good parts. This is a song that makes me think of driving down a country road to a friend's house where we'll have a delicious dinner and go for a walk through the trees, admiring the leaves changing color.
This song's for you, Massachusetts. I'll try not to hold Mitt Romney against you guys any more.
Hey, comic book lover. You can't just sit around listening to Metallica and Dragonforce all the time. Sure, nerd rock is great, but who's gonna take you seriously if that's all you ever play? We understand, though, you want to stay true to geek culture. So let's compromise. Let's make a Justice League of Soul.
Today we're offering you a mixtape that covers the backbone of the DC Universe. It's got the accessibility of Nightwing with the obscurity of Shade The Changing Man. With a mix like this, you might be able to impress the indie-book hipster behind the counter at your local comic book store. It's your ticket to the a-list, baby, and here's a preview of what's coming.
The Hesitations - Soul Superman
This 1967 track might sound a little fuzzy, but the beat comes through when the chips are down. It's indestructibly catchy, yet still accessible to the common man. The vocals soar high, and the lyrics stay rooted in the fragile human experience. This is a guy giving himself confidence by turning to something bigger. What else is Superman for?
Come inside to find some great music about the rest of the Justice League. We think you'll enjoy what we've found.
Bad City Band - Batman '77
Expecting something darker? Well, that was your mistake, because The Batman never gives you what you expect. That's how he stays one step ahead, striking from the shadows, blinding you with the glitter of a disco ball and a hypnotic Latin beat. Plus he's a billionaire playboy, if he doesn't hit Ibiza now and then people get suspicious.
The Stylistics - Wonder Woman
The old Wonder Woman theme song is pretty funky all by itself, but that seemed like cheating, so we turned to The Stylistics. Of course this sweet, loving, well-meaning song is still about a woman from a man's point of view, which brings up issues of male gaze and... aw, forget it, we're not gonna debate that here. Just be happy 2 Live Crew never wrote a song called "Starfire Booty Call" and enjoy this track.
Bobby Thurston - Flash
It's likely that this 1978 song isn't actually about Barry Allen, and that's sad, because it has cop show introduction written all over it. Imagine a police scientist and his partner (Wally West?) who work together to solve crimes at the speed of light. As long as it wasn't opposite Sanford & Son it could have gone a couple seasons easy.
George Kerr - Three Minutes To Hey Girl
You might not be able to figure it out from the title, but just let the song play. Yeah, there you go, about a minute in. "In brightest days, and in blackest nights, no beautiful girls shall escape my sight." That's the Green Lantern Oath being used as a pickup line, and you just don't get more fearless than that. We know 1970 was a very different dating scene, but... could that actually work? Some of you fellas get out there and give it a shot, then report back. Maybe avoid underage gold-colored chicks.
Tricky - Something In The Way
Yeah, it's sort of stretching the rules to add this one, but this next hero's been beyond the rules since about 1986. Vocals on this Nirvana cover are handled by Garrison Hawk (a.k.a Hawkman) and even though it's from 2001, we're bending continuity a little to fit him in. There's certainly precedent for doing that, after all, and what's a JLA without a Hawkman?
Goblin - Aquaman
Well, sure, it's Italian electronica from 1976, but it's probably been sampled by some rapper by now. Doesn't that qualify it as soulful? Hey, whatever, Aquaman's used to controversy. Everybody calls him lame, and yet he still keeps coming back to the JLA, he's had his own book about six or seven times, and we all know he could beat up Moon Knight. So we're counting this. You don't like it, tell it to the mysterious hooded chick in the corner.
Bonus: The Atom
There wasn't actually a song so we just grabbed this science lesson from WKRP in Cincinnati. What? Are you mad it isn't a song? Do you think it ruins continuity? See, this is exactly the kind of trouble that starts every time Hawkman reappears. Maybe we need to have some kind of crisis and make a fresh new start...
Got any favorite superhero songs we overlooked? Want to make a recommendation for our upcoming Defenders playlist? Hop in the comments below and speak your mind!
I'm back! Sorry for the week off, but I was busy trying not to die of heat exhaustion at an outdoor wedding in the hills of Texas. But the United States of Songs wait for no one, so I'm back in action this week with the Old Line State.
The state: Maryland The song: "Maryland, My Maryland" by James Ryder Randall, as performed by Ernie Ford
I've been to Maryland, but I don't remember much. In fact, here's the most vivid memory of Maryland I have: my eighth grade class took a field trip to the East coast to absorb various historical sites, stopping in Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, and New York City. We were divvied up into easily-chaperoned groups of five or six and assigned two parents each, except in Baltimore where one of the dads carting us around got sick and spent the day at the hotel. The remaining chaperone, whose kid was in my group, ditched us and took his son to a Hooters. I remember thinking, at the tender age of 12, "Okay, sure, Hooters has boobs, but come ON guys: the aquarium!" I still associate watching beluga whales with feeling rejected.
"Seriously, you guys picked Buffalo Wings over THIS?!"
But yeah, Maryland.
Search for songs about the state and you're going to be absolutely overrun with results for Vonda Shepard's song of the same name, because it apparently played on an episode of the hit TV show Ally McBeal. But you know what? That song is terrible. It's empty, sappy, and instantly dated. That ain't Maryland. Besides, if we're going for something from the screen or stage, it's got to include Hairspray. Unfortunately though, it seems Vonda Shepard started a trend. Almost every song I could find with "Maryland" in the title was some slow, "adult-contemporary" riff with a husky voice crooning over some acoustic guitars and piano twinkling. Blech.
So when in doubt, go with a classic! Yeah, it's kind of cheating since it's the state song and all, but if you're looking for a song that pays tribute to an entire state, not just one region or feature, it's hard to do better. And okay, I gave Kentucky a lot of what turned out to be un-justified crap about their Confederate Flag Wavers, and this is a poem calling for Maryland to fight the Union and secede with the Confederacy, but this was a different time. And nowhere was Bill Watterson's Calvin depicted urinating on anything in a pick-up truck's rear window.
So why hang on to a relic of a pretty terrible time in our nation's history? So as not to forget, obviously. President Lincoln called for troops to defend the capital, and on their way through Confederate-leaning Baltimore, MD they sparked the Baltimore riots and the first bloodshed of the Civil War. So while the parts about Lincoln being a despot might not hold up today, the imagery of bright and strong shields and refusing to cower in dust still stir enough emotion that the United States Naval Academy men's glee club sings it.
Why mess with a proven winner? Enjoy your song, Maryland. But feel free to commission some new artists to help bury your shameful past with Vonda Shepard.
Runner-up: "Going to Maryland" by The Mountain Goats Most Laughable Suggestion: "Maryland" by Vonda Shepard. Seriously.
You know the drill: let us know your pick for the song that best describes Maryland, and submit your faves for next week's state: Massachusetts!
Time again for my weekly search for the perfect song to accompany a state. We've crisscrossed America several times over already as I head alphabetically down the list, but this week we're headed to the Northeast. Specifically, as Northeast as you can get.
The state: Maine The song: "Maine" by John Linnell
(Sorry about the crappy Myspace player)
I knew when I started this project that some states would be easier than others. No one can shut up about states like New York, Florida, California, or Texas. But the good people of Maine not only don't like to sing about their state, they seem to be running an active campaign to silence anyone who would. I had originally decided on "Coast of Maine" by Dick Curless to represent the Pine Tree State, but I could find not a trace of the tune online. My frustrations were compounded by the existence of some crappy band calling themselves "The Maine" cluttering up my search results.
So in the end, it's a bit of a cop-out. People have mentioned John Linnell's 1999 album "State Songs" in the comments for previous states, but I had resisted the urge to use any of them because it just seemed too easy. Not to mention that there aren't many states where elementary school-style trivia lessons delivered in John Linnell's nasal whining seem appropriate. So what's the deal, Maine? Trying to keep the secret from getting out?
Even their photos are secretive. Go search "Maine" on Flickr. 16 pages of this crap.
I've never been to Maine, but I've always heard good things. It was some kind of rugged refuge for REAL people who live off the land and brave the elements for lobsters and timber and whatnot. I hear you have to have a beard just to cross the state line and enter. But you wouldn't know it by looking for a song about those guys, because everyone's pretty tight-lipped.
So I'm sorry it's probably not the most fitting song for you Maine...rs? Linnell seems to kind of crap all over the state for most of the song, with a barely-worth-it "I love you anyway" thrown in there. But I'm not taking the heat for this one. You guys need to get out there and start writing some songs about how cool a place it is to live, or else no one's ever gonna know!
Unless that's what you're going for.
Runner-Up: "Maine Stein Song" by Rudy Vallée
Most Laughable Suggestion: "Maine Pucha Chand Se" by Mohd Rafi (Not a bad tune, but he might not actually be singing about the state of Maine, now that I think about it.)
Have you actually found some songs about Maine? Share them! Want to suggest a song to represent Maryland? Let us know in the comments!
It's Friday, and that means it's time for my weekly ritual: The United States of Songs. I know pretty much everyone knows the drill by now, but I keep repeating myself week in, week out in the hopes that someone somewhere is just stumbling upon this for the first time. Still, if you're as sick of reading the rules as I am of typing them, you can skip this part. If you're new to the blog, here's how this works: I'm working my way through each state in the U.S. alphabetically to identify one song that truly identifies and speaks to the experience of being in that particular state. The song has to have the state name in the title, and it can't be one of those "Yellow Rose of Texas" metaphors, either. It's got to be all about how awesome (or, in some cases, how awful) the state and living in it can be. This week it's Louisiana, and our song comes courtesy of Wooter bradw76:
The state: Louisiana The song: "Louisiana Man" by Doug Kershaw
Let's all take a second and appreciate that combination of tuxedo shirt, wild man haircut, and fiddle. The '70s were just beautiful, man. Alright, back to business: for everyone who wanted "Louisiana 1927," I can't say you're wrong. It's a fantastic song, and yes it does have that whole "poignant yet again" vibe since 20085, but New Orleans is clawing back from the brink, fighting their way to prominence. They don't need another "we're so sorry for you" song, and New Orleans does not equal all of Louisiana. I had to go with something upbeat.
If you've never been to Louisiana you might think it's all Billy the Exterminator and various Cajun stereotypes skulking around the outskirts of Bourbon Street, which exists as a perpetually-shaken snowglobe of flying beads, exposed boobs, and those four-foot-tall Hurricane glasses full of margaritas. Well it's not ALWAYS like that, and I should know: I've been there. Twice. And I want to head off any additional criticism by saying if I had been able to find a decent copy of Clifton Chenier's "Louisiana Two-Step," it would be the winner, because if there's anything the world needs more of it's Zydeco and that stuff was BORN in Louisiana.
Also born in Louisiana: deliciousness.
But it's hard to argue with the original Ragin' Cajun himself. Maybe you could say "Louisiana Saturday Night" is more your cup of tea, but not many songs capture the joyful exuberance these people have in the face of what I can only describe as "the worst weather to exist on planet earth." That's no knock against your state, Louisian...ans? Louisianoids? Whatever. You can't help where your state lies, but I had no idea humidity could reach over 100% before I visited. It's like you guys live there to spite the earth itself.
But they're happy! Presumably because if you can survive inside nature's crock pot and eke out a living dodging poisonous snakes and mosquitoes and alligators all day then of COURSE you're going to party like it's your job. Okay, okay, that's as much a stereotype as the idea that everyone runs around shoeless with overalls and nothin' on underneath them. But I mean it with respect. I don't think I could survive in Louisiana. I'm soft. I don't know how you guys don't immediately sweat through every article of clothing you have as soon as you walk outside. But I could definitely visit again, and I hope to some day soon.
I like you guys, Louisiana. You've had a rough few years what with the hurricane and the oil spill and the drought, but I know you're not looking for sympathy or another sad, "woe is Louisiana" song. There's plenty to be happy about in the Bayou State, and I'm looking forward to the next time I go.
Got a better song for Louisiana? Want to suggest one for next week's piece on Maine? Get to commentin'!
Runner Up: "Bon Temp Louisiana" by Jude Taylor & His Burning Flames Most Laughable Suggestion: "Louisiana Blues" performed by Eric Burdon & The Animals (the original by Muddy Waters is fantastic, though.)
A long time ago I was under a deadline and desperate for a blog idea. "I know," I thought, "I'll pick a song for each state in America."
"Uh, sure," my editor, Jason Toon, said. "But just to make it interesting, make it so the state name has to be in the title of the song."
"Sure!" I said, not noticing his stifled laughter, "And the song has to be about the state, not a girl in the state or a city or forest or something. This will be awesome! I'll have blog ideas for Friday taken care of for almost a year!"
And with that naive declaration, my fate was sealed. You're up, Kentucky!
The state: Kentucky The song: "My Old Kentucky Home" by Stephen C. Foster, as performed by the Edison Male Quartet
So let's clear something up right away: if this were just "pick the best song with the state name in there somewhere," and didn't have all the rules I put on it, we would post a video to "Kentucky Rain" and call it a day. And yes, it's the official state song, but after the blowback I got with Georgia I decided that fact shouldn't disqualify a song. You can find plenty of versions of this tune, including post-late-'80s versions with more politically-correct lyrics, but I think the old-timey version speaks to the state and it's, uh, history.
Look, there's no getting around this: I don't get the whole "Southern Pride/We Shall Rise Again/Somehow It Isn't Offensive to Fly the Stars and Bars" thing. And I know Kentucky's certainly not the only state with that attitude. But in my few and admittedly-brief Kentucky experiences, it's still a pretty big deal there. I can only say that, speaking for myself, it's a pretty big turnoff as far as ever spending any time or money in your state.
I also don't get the hat thing, but at least it's sort of adorable.
But still, this song works because it evokes memories and a fondness for those "simpler times," which most people I've met from Kentucky seem to prefer. It's a weird blend of celebrating tradition and history mixed with fearing the outside world and change in general. Kentuckians can easily hang with Texans when it comes to gloriously espousing all the reasons why their home state is better than any other place on earth while conveniently ignoring a lot of the bad press the place might get. And hey, bourbon. I can't write them off entirely.
I think you'll like your song, Kentucky, even if it is kind of mainstream and lacking that certain underground, "never heard it before," hipster cred. Enjoy!
Offended on behalf of Kentucky? Got a better song idea? Want to suggest a song for next week's pick, Louisiana? Let us know in the comments!
Runner-Up: "
Excuse me if my enthusiasm for my weekly music blog is lacking. I've spent way too long wading through thousands of search results for songs BY Kansas in my search for songs ABOUT Kansas. And I have to say, Kansas (the band) sucks.
So. Hard.
The state: Kansas The song: "Kansas Rain" by John Stewart
Poor Kansas. You guys need to consider hiring a PR firm, as it seems like the only times you're in the news are when your schools don't want to teach science or your trailers are tossed aside by a tornado. I'm sure there's more to offer than that, but you wouldn't know it if you watch the news.
This is what the average American thinks of when they hear the word "Kansas."
More than a few people suggested "On the Road to Kansas," and to be honest I don't really get it. That song feels much more like a tune for snaking along a desolate highway in the Southwest than rolling along the grass-covered plains of Kansas. I've driven through Kansas a few times, and the only thing I really remember is the sky. The sky (when it's not filled with huge, angry storms or tornadoes) looks like a painting. And upon hearing John Stewart (not THAT Jon Stewart) and his falsetto yodel I can harken back to the day I spent with my best pal Tim driving through Kansas on the way to Los Angeles in his 4Runner while the wind threatened to blow us over.
You've got a nice tune here, Kansas. Make the most of it. And start inspiring more people to write songs about you, because a state that pretty shouldn't be so hard to memorialize in song.
Runner-up: "Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey!" by The Beatles. Yeah, it breaks the rules. But in a perfect world we all know this would win hands down. Most Laughable Suggestion: Anything by Kansas. Seriously. Those guys can die in a fire.
Got a better suggestion? Want to jump in with an idea for next week's state song, Kentucky? Let us know in the comments!
It's hard to imagine in today's hyper-compartmental microgenre musical environment, where musical styles are sliced ever thinner, until individual bands become genres of one. But lost in the mists of history (well, it was the 70s, so maybe that's not mist) was a time when the Clash, the Ramones, and the Sex Pistols snuggled up alongside Aerosmith, the Bay City Rollers, and Queen in the same record collections. And that rock omnivore's paradise was captured by the brilliant, funny New York-based magazine Rock Scene.
But fat chance of me ever seeing an issue, right? That's what I thought for many years - but now every issue of Rock Scene is available to read online thanks to an obsessive punk collector in Austin. If there's a Nobel Prize for Rock, Ryan Richardson deserves it for this invaluable public service.
Bowie, the Stones, KISS, and the Ramones got the most shine from Rock Scene's spotlight, but the mag's coverage ran wide and deep. Look at that head of hair on Ted Nugent! Read transvestite glam-rocker Wayne County's paean to KISS! Marvel at how even Steven Tyler once looked young! Wonder why you've never heard of New Wave also-rans like the Cretones and Max Load! What did people say about London Calling and Born to Run when they were brand-new?
Even with the ugly watermarks, the photos alone make every issue an unbelievable treasure for a rock geek like me, let alone the writing - fantastic at its best, and always amusing. We'll never have another moment like this again, but at least we've still got Rock Scene. Dive in, put on that second New York Dolls album - come on, it's way underrated - and discover that gloriously trashy time anew.
Cretins, savages, and dirty-sweet scum: you may also enjoy Woot blog posts like these...
So every week I try to find a fitting song for a state. The song has to have the state name in the title, and it has to be about the state itself, not a city, not a mountain, not a woman the songwriter will always remember there at least until the next tour. Some states are pretty easy. Everybody loves to sing about California and how awesome it is. Other states are Iowa.
The state: Iowa The song: "Iowa" by Alli Rogers
(I couldn't find a video, so please forgive this awful myspace player)
I've never been to Iowa. I hope to scratch all 50 states off my travel list at some point in life, but I have to admit that states like Iowa are kind of low on my list. It's nothing against Iowa personally; I don't know enough about it to dislike it. But I also don't know enough to want to visit. So Iowans, feel free to take to the comments and tell me what I'm missing (side note: never have I enjoyed the responses to this article as much as I did the folks from Indiana, who with a collective shrug basically said, "Yeah. If you weren't from here I don't know why you'd want to visit." You guys are as honest as you are humble, and I think that's awesome. I hope everyone's safe after that stage collapse.)
People from states like Iowa are a lot like people from states like Indiana. Or Illinois, for that matter. We're the flyover states. We know you big city, coastal, liberal elites don't give a damn. You can sit there and mock us for our fanny packs and love of primetime television, but that's just your loss. Because you'll never know the beauty of a sunset over a cornfield, you'll never see how bright the stars really are when the nearest city is 25 miles away and only has 1300 people anyway, and you'll miss out on the thrill of surviving a giant electrical storm crackling across the plains. This song does a great job to me of conveying the spirit that a lot of Midwesterners carry with them their entire lives. We might move away, we might not make it back home, but that experience makes you a different person.
Iowa: 1. "Enlightened" West Coast Elites: 0
Moving on: a lifetime ago I was working through college at a collection agency and I was assigned to a specific client based in Iowa. Calling people who either don't have the money to pay their bills or don't want to pay their bills even if they HAVE the money is as soul-crushing as you'd expect, but in my time there I learned two things from the good folks I called: 1. Iowa gets its name from the phrase "I owe-a everybody," and "Our trees bend North because Minnesota sucks." So you guys might struggle to pay your bills, but you don't let it get you down, and I respect that.
Iowa, I dig your song. I hope you do, too. Let me know what you think.
Got a better suggestion? Want to start putting in ideas for next week's state, Kansas? Get to commenting!
Runner-Up: "Iowa" by Dar Williams Most Laughable Suggestion: "Iowa" by Slipknot
Each week I find a song to celebrate a state. The song's got to have the state name in the title, and it's got to celebrate the entirety of the state, not just one spot. I had no idea how much of a grind I was signing up for when I sort-of-arbitrarily proposed the idea, but we're in too deep to stop now. Indiana, you're up!
The state: Indiana The song: "I'm Going Back to Indiana" by The Jackson 5
Hot damn! Do you have any idea how refreshing a Jackson 5 tune is after weeks of listening to droning, melancholy folk songs about having strength in the face of the depressing circumstances that have left the singer in whatever state they're lamenting? It's been tough coming up with some winners. But finally, someone EXCITED about their state! Sure, it makes no sense in this context, because I've been to Indiana and I don't really know what the big deal is, but at least it's got a groove.
Side note: the "hoosier" thing always interested me. Wikipedia says it comes from the frontier greeting "Who's here?" I guess it just stuck, but only in Indiana? It was always funny to me because growing up in the Illinois suburbs, calling someone a hoosier was the closest equivalent we had to the N word for each other. You didn't call someone a hoosier unless you REALLY wanted to insult them, and you did so knowing the next escalation was likely to be punching.
But Indiana - smallest state West of the Appalachians, manufacturing hub for products like steel, automobiles, pharmaceuticals, and coal products, and employer of the flat rate state income tax - is often overlooked in the national consciousness. Politically they're pretty much a constant red with little to no digression, so their politics aren't too exciting to watch. The only cities people can name off the top of their heads are Indianapolis and maybe Gary, which is basically Chicago's vestigial tail. They have the Colts, the Pacers, and the rapidly-diminishing-in-popularity Indianapolis 500.
They do a heck of a job on "mournful sunsets," though.
But you know what? The Jackson 5 are happy to be heading back, anyway. By their own admission there are greener pastures out there. Hell, they're coming back from one. But there's just something about home that can't be replaced in your heart. And that's how I feel about Indiana: I would probably like it a lot more if I had grown up there or something. Which isn't to say it's a BAD place, it's just a bit of a blank slate. All I've ever seen is along the I-70 corridor. So I can totally picture myself bopping down the road to this song while on my way through the state to somewhere else.
You've got a great song, Indiana! I look forward to your citizens correcting me on all the cool stuff about you in the comments!
Runner-Up: "Indiana" by Bobby Darin & Johnny Mercer
Most Laughable Suggestion: Anything by John Mellencamp
Speaking of comments, let us know if you've got a better pick for Indiana's song, or a suggestion for next week's take on Iowa!
